The Enduring Love and Heartbreak: Merle Haggard’s Final Visit with Ex-Wife Bonnie Owens
Merle Haggard, widely hailed as one of country music’s greatest, lived a life marked by both brilliance and profound struggle. While his authentic songwriting often drew from his personal experiences, including his multiple marriages, a particularly poignant story emerged from his final visit with his second wife, Bonnie Owens, before her passing. This account, shared by Haggard himself, is a testament to an enduring bond that transcended divorce, and it’s a story that still moves fans to tears today.
Haggard was married five times in total. His union with fellow musician Bonnie Owens lasted from 1965 to 1978. In a 2012 interview with The Tennessean at the Country Music Hall of Fame and Museum Forum, Merle reflected on their significant relationship. Bonnie, an accomplished artist herself who won the ACM Female Vocalist of the Year in 1965, married Merle that same year. She not only toured with him but also helped care for his children from his previous marriage.
Merle credited Bonnie as a crucial catalyst during a deeply creative period in his life. “If I even indicated that I was going to write, she was there with a pad and pen and she didn’t miss a thing,” he recalled. He emphatically stated that some of his biggest hits, like “Mama Tried” and “Workin’ Man Blues,” wouldn’t exist without her. “She took those words down at the right time,” he said, noting that they received six BMI awards in 1968 and 1969, with Bonnie meticulously documenting each song.
The Birth of a Classic: “Today I Started Loving You Again”
One of Merle Haggard’s most beloved songs, “Today I Started Loving You Again,” was directly inspired by Bonnie. Merle recounted writing the song for her after a grueling 90-day tour in Texas. During a week-long break in Los Angeles, as they were at the airport before heading back for another 45 days, Merle told Bonnie, “You know we haven’t had much time to say hello… Today I Started Loving You Again. I had time to start loving you again.” Bonnie, ever the astute professional, immediately responded, “What a great idea for a song.”
He famously wrote the song on a paper bag that night after she got him a hamburger, tearing it open to capture the lyrics. This classic track, though never reaching the Top 10 on the country charts, became an instantly recognizable country standard, later covered by legends like Waylon Jennings, Conway Twitty, and Kenny Rogers. Merle also humorously noted the financial split of the song’s royalties: “When I get a royalty check all the songs that I’ve written make up about half of the money and ‘Today I Started Loving You Again’ is the rest of the money and I only get 12% of it. I’d written it for her so I gave her half of it to begin with then we got our divorce and she got the other half.”
A Bond Beyond Marriage: Alzheimer’s and a Heartbreaking Farewell
The most incredible part of Merle’s interview, however, came when he spoke about their relationship years after their divorce in 1978. He revealed that their split allowed them to build a deep, lasting friendship, remaining close right up to Bonnie’s death in 2006.
In a moment that choked him up during the interview, Merle described his last visit to Bonnie’s home. She had been suffering from Alzheimer’s for several years. He recalled, “She grabbed me by the arm… she said, ‘I’ve got to take you down to my room.’ So I followed her down to the room and she had this big slick of her and I up behind her bed.”
With tears welling, Merle recounted Bonnie looking at the picture and saying, “He’s my favorite.” The profound heartbreak of the moment was that Bonnie, in her advanced Alzheimer’s, no longer recognized Merle as the man in the picture; she simply knew he was “her favorite.”
This poignant story, which can be found on YouTube, resonates deeply with anyone familiar with the cruelties of Alzheimer’s and dementia. For Bonnie to lovingly show Merle a picture of them together, yet not fully comprehend that he was standing right there, paints a devastatingly tender portrait of their enduring connection. It’s a powerful reminder that some bonds transcend memory and the trials of life, leaving an indelible mark on the heart.